A RealWorld Student writes:
Dear Prof. Martin:
My question is that I finally know what I want to study in college; it’s biomedical engineering. I want to transfer to another college to study it b/c my school doesn’t offer it. This is my second year. I don’t have the money to transfer, and my grade point average is not excellent, but I’m a hard working student and I’ve had a lot of problems and hard life. What should I do?
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A RealWorld Student writes:
I HAVE THIS TEST TO TAKE IN ABOUT 51 DAYS, I HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS EXAM FOR ABOUT 9 MONTHS AND I HAVE TO ACE IT , SOMETIMES I HAVE SELF DOUBTS ABOUT MY CAPABILITIES WHICH I ALWAYS TRY TO SAY MYSELF THAT IT IS BY BEING SUCCESSFULL IN THE PRESENT THAT YOU CAN EXPECT A POSITIVE FUTURE. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO BE POSITIVELY MOTIVATED AND ACTIVE IN MOST OF MY PREPARATION.
The first day of classes, I found myself in the same situation that thousand of college students face each semester. Being the first person in my family to attend college, I had no idea what to expect. Making the decision not to leave home and to attend school in my hometown helped to make the transition easier, but it was still intimidating.
If I had someone to clue me in on what to expect, things might have been easier and I could have concentrated more on my classes instead of fumbling through everything. Tips on the best parking lots, when to use the computer lab, and which professors to avoid, would have been the best things that anyone could have told me about. Unfortunately, nobody did, and I have racked up several parking tickets, waited impatiently for a chance in the computer lab, and have had my share of longwinded professors. The following are a few more things that I had no idea about.
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Some have said that the letters of the word “fear” also defines what it is: “False Evidence Appearing Real.” How appropriate, because that’s exactly what it is. Most of the time, fear is just a manifestation of our imagination running out of control.
Fear, especially for college students, comes disguised in many forms.
There’s the typical fear of the unknown (i.e., outlook on employment after graduation, having to speak in front of your peers, uncertainty about meeting your financial needs, etc.).
Then there’s the fear of failure or rejection (i.e., failing your final exam, not graduating, not getting the job you want, etc.).
There’s also the uncommon fear of success. That right; believe it or not, some people are actually afraid to succeed (i.e., increased expectations, increased responsibility, feelings of guilt for having more than others, etc.).
All of these examples don’t even take into account the fear we have in our relationships, families, and personal lives.
Whichever your fear, neither one of the three previous types is healthy for you. Each fear has its own unique debilitating characteristics that can steal your dreams and sabotage your future. Your job is to identify which and how each fear is attacking you and learn how to conquer it effectively.
Now I don’t pretend to be an expert on the topic, but I have endured my own share of fear attacks. In fact, when I was a teenager growing up in the ghetto, sometimes it felt as if “fear” was the only friend I had. Over the years, I’ve achieved some “success” largely due to my ability to courageously face my fears. During those battles, I learned the following lessons:
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“Some Have to Earn to Learn”
Work and school seem to be two inseparable evils to most college students. To the fortunate few who have the “financial” ability to “choose” one without the other, we hate you (just kidding).
Unfortunately, most college students have to “earn” in order to “learn.” Personally speaking, I held so many jobs in college that my friends called me the “Job Man.” During any given semester, I worked at least two jobs, sometimes three, for a total of 50 – 60 hours a week! No joke. Matter of fact, after graduation, the “real world” seemed a lot easier than college. My mother was very poor and my father didn’t offer me any financial support. I know this sounds like a story from your parents, but I’m still in my late twenties.
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An RWU Student Writes:
I was just cut from my college basketball team today, and I don’t know what to do. I love basketball and I put 95 percent of my time and energy into it. I think I am good enough to play on the team, but I had a bad first week of practice, and then I got cut. There’s not much I do at this point. I only have 3 classes now, and a lot of free time. I don’t want to give up on basketball, I don’t know if I could, it’s been a part of my life for so long. I just feel really depressed and my motivation to be successful in college is running low. Any advice would help me so much.
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